


Miscommunication

by LordofLies



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Rescue Bots
Genre: Angst, Bottom Blades, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Oral Sex, Other, Pining, Self-Esteem Issues, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Tension, Sticky Sexual Interfacing, chief burns should be a therapist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-08-08 13:17:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7759258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordofLies/pseuds/LordofLies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A lack of communication leaves Heatwave frustrated and Blades upset, forcing a rift between them that has to be repaired in order to keep the Rescue Bots intact.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Miscommunication

**Author's Note:**

> I was gonna post this as one fic but it got way longer than anticipated so I'm breaking it into two parts. Enjoy!

Heatwave had been aware of a growing preoccupation with Blades for the past few months, but it wasn’t until a botched rescue attempt resulted in the flier scrambling out of a river—water sluicing over his plating and spurting out of his vents in violent spasms—that he realized what the cause was.

He found Blades attractive.

Like flipping a light switch, the nebulous, unconscious thoughts and fantasies he’d been harboring for months now were suddenly illuminated.  They flooded through him like electricity through a copper wire, and left him flustered and distracted at the most inconvenient times.  He found himself constantly watching Blades, taking detailed mental notes on the curvature of his torso, the dangerous spin of his rotors, and the way his fingers clacked together anxiously when he was uncertain.  His laughter was like a drip of molten mercury down Heatwave’s spinal strut, settling warm and dangerous in his fuel tank.  Lately all his thoughts had been drifting back to Blades: something he’d said, some graceful aerial maneuver he’d pulled during a rescue, or just the way his hips swayed when he walked, framed by his long, delicate rotor blades.

It was absolutely unacceptable, and Heatwave was furious with himself.

Not only was it irresponsible of him as the leader of his team to pay more attention to one team member over the others, but the way Blades had begun to consume his processor was dangerous.  He wasn’t on top of his game if all he thought about was Blades.  If an emergency came up and he couldn’t react quickly enough because he was distracted, then that failure would be on him and there would be no excuse.  It was his duty as team captain to bear the responsibility of all its parts.  If he could not be relied upon as an example to follow and a solid foundation upon which to ground themselves, then he will have failed in his mission to Optimus and disgraced himself as an emergency responder.

The obvious solution was to simply stop dwelling on Blades—to acknowledge that while he had an attractive frame, it was neither prudent nor likely that he’d be amenable to starting a less-than-professional relationship with Heatwave.

Of course, if doing that had been easy, perhaps Heatwave would never have found himself in this predicament in the first place.  No matter how hard he struggled to think about other things, Blades continued to insinuate himself into the background noise of Heatwave’s thoughts, which only made him increasingly frustrated. 

If he could not simply put Blades out of his mind, perhaps he could reason with himself about Blades’ attractiveness.  Admittedly, he did cut a very fine figure.  His glass was well-polished, his paint lustrous, his proportions symmetrical and pleasing, and his vocalizer sometimes hit just the right pitch to send a jolt of arousal through Heatwave’s systems. 

When it came to appearances, Blades had everything.  In personality, however, there was a lot to be desired.  While ultimately reliable in a pinch, Blades was timid and had a certain lack of self-respect that curled Heatwave’s lip in contempt.  He whined and bargained when there was something he didn’t want to do, and when he felt he had even the slightest edge he puffed up like balloon and became absolutely intolerable.  It was embarrassing and infuriating behavior for an uncompromising, straightforward mech like Heatwave, who had a job and was committed to seeing it done to the best of his abilities.  There wasn’t any room for self-pity or uncertainty in his world, and it ground his gears to see those behaviors exhibited in his teammates.

But as much as Heatwave tried to convince himself that these shortcomings made Blades less attractive, it seemed to have the opposite effect.  The way the flier held himself made him appear surprisingly delicate.  Although Heatwave knew he could take a beating and withstand a wide array of punishment, he still seemed oddly fragile.  His optics hid nothing, and sometimes it seemed like one wrong word could shatter him. Blades’ aversion to conflict also made him submissive when it came to Heatwave’s authority, and Heatwave couldn’t deny that he found that display of weakness extremely arousing.  It awoke in him an instinctive desire to both protect and exploit—to shelter his teammate from harm, but also to pin him to the ground and make him squirm and mewl his way to overload.

Once he’d started having those particular thoughts, there had been no stopping them.  Everything Blades did became distracting and arousing.  The way his rotors drooped or fluttered depending his mood, or how his optic shutters dropped halfway when he knew he was right about something.  Watching Blades transform had become particularly problematic as Heatwave still found his teammate’s newfound aerodynamic abilities fascinating.  Blades had been a grounder like the rest of them back on Cybertron, but he seemed made for flight—a rare quality in an autobot.  He was so graceful and the sun shone bright and brilliant off his frame. 

He was beautiful, and all Heatwave wanted to do was bend him over something and frag him senseless or flip him on his back and explore his wet, pliant valve with his fingers.

This, Heatwave was sure, was how a bot lost their mind.

~*~

When Blades returned from his patrol, dirty and still picking bits of vegetation out of his vents, he had just enough strength left to drag himself over to his landing pad and collapse into recharge.  In the morning, when Dani woke him up, bright and chipper as usual, he felt as if someone had tried to cement his optics closed.

“Good morning, Blades!”

“What’s good about it?” the helicopter groaned, becoming aware of an unpleasant whine in his processor.

“Yikes, what happened to you last night?”  She gave him a once over.  “You look like you were rolling around in the woods.  And don’t you usually sleep in vehicle mode?”

“You mean I didn’t last night?” Blades asked, looking down at himself.  Definitely not a helicopter.  Ugh, no wonder he’d slept so poorly.

“I must have forgotten to transform before recharging last night,” he admitted.  Dani frowned.

“You still look tired.  You feeling all right?  Are you sick?  Do you guys even get sick?”

“We can get sick sometimes.  But I think I’m just too tired.  Heatwave asked me to do a patrol around the north side of the island to make sure that storm we had yesterday didn’t strand any hikers on the mountain.”

“That doesn’t explain the new look,” Dani replied pointedly, and Blades knew she wasn’t going to back down until she got the full truth out of him.

“I was out there for a while and I got tired, so I was flying too low and a gust of wind knocked me against a tree and I fell.  And then I had to walk a ways until there was enough space to transform and fly back, so everyone was already in recharge when I got back and I just offlined as soon as I touched my landing pad,” he admitted under Dani’s relentless gaze.

“Aw, Blades,” she said, patting his knee sympathetically.  “Why didn’t you call any of us?  And why did Heatwave send you out alone, and so late?”  Blades frowned, a slight quiver in his jaw.

“I was embarrassed.  And I didn’t want to disturb anyone since I knew most of you would be asleep.  And I…  I don’t know why Heatwave asked me to do the patrol alone.  It was probably something that needed to be done, but…”  He ducked his head, avoiding Dani’s eyes.

“What is it?”

“Lately I feel like Heatwave’s been asking me to do a lot.  A lot more than everyone else.  I feel like I’m never around the base, and half the time I don’t even have you with me since you’re got human stuff to do.”

“Maybe this is his way of telling you he trusts you with more responsibilities, if he’s giving you more jobs,” Dani offered.

“Maybe.  But I feel like he’s always disappointed with me, no matter what I do!  I’m trying, even when it’s hard or I’m uncomfortable.  But he never thanks me, or tells me I did a good job.  It’s always, ‘You’re late, Blades,’ or ‘Sloppy maneuver today, Blades, you’ll need to work on that for next time,’ or ‘Just because you’re the best able to do backup and surveillance doesn’t mean you can get out of doing the heavy lifting like the rest of us.’”  Blades sighed, rubbing at his optics.  “Heatwave’s always been a little harsh, but not this bad.  I feel like he’s punishing me for doing something wrong, but I don’t know what I did or how to fix it!  And he’s been giving me these weird looks when he thinks I don’t notice.  I don’t know what I’m doing wrong…”

Blades looked like he was about to cry, and Dani felt a wave of anger rise up inside her.  Blades was her partner, and he didn’t deserve to feel hurt and upset like this.  She gave his leg another comforting pat.

“Why don’t you hit the showers and refuel,” she suggested.  “We can catch up with the others later.”

“I don’t want to show up later than everyone else.  Heatwave will be mad at me…” Blades groaned, dearly wanting to comply with Dani’s suggestion but afraid of getting another one of Heatwave’s glares leveled in his direction.

“I’ll tell them it’s my fault, don’t worry about it.  Got get cleaned up, you’ll definitely feel better then.”  Nodding despondently, Blades dragged himself to his feet and over to the wash racks.  Dani clenched her fist at her side.  She and Heatwave were going to have a _talk_.

~*~

In retrospect, Heatwave realized that his attempts to both entrust Blades with more responsibilities and put some distance between himself and the flier had been a bit too much too fast.  It was his own fault for asking Blades’ to go on patrols by himself, but he’d thought the helicopter would be able to handle it, and to have enough sense to call when he needed help and file a formal complaint if he had a problem with the situation. Heatwave would have to try a different approach in the future.

After his talk with Dani (less of a talk more of a one-sided shouting match on Dani’s part), he’d stopped sending the flier out on so many solo missions.  It annoyed him that Dani had been the one to speak to him on Blades’ behalf.  If his teammate had a problem with his leadership, it was his responsibility to speak up and confront Heatwave himself!  It was frustrating, and it just convinced Heatwave even more that he needed to force Blades to stiffen his spinal strut or the whole team was going to suffer for it.  Blades needed to be able to rely on himself when push came to shove.

Of course, the end of Blades’ frequent patrols meant that they were in close proximity again, which only worsened Heatwave’s intrusive thoughts.  He wanted Blades, but he couldn’t have him.  All he could do was continue to bottle up his feelings, hoping that maybe they’d dissolve away on their own if left untended for long enough.

After a few more weeks, and the increasingly tense situation out in the field, it became clear that Heatwave’s feelings for Blades were not going to go away.  He didn’t know what to do about it.  It was clear that he was bad at hiding his feelings and remaining impartial, all he could do was channel his attraction into frustration and anger—mostly towards himself, but he couldn’t help but feel a certain amount of resentment towards Blades as well.  If he weren’t so attractive, or if he felt the same way, they wouldn’t be having this problem!  He knew it was his own fault, not Blades’, but he didn’t think anyone had ever been about to reason away negative emotions.  The maelstrom of conflicting feelings raging inside his processor manifested itself in foul moods that affected everyone around him.

After he realized that the frustration he was feeling was probably worse for team morale than the initial attraction that had caused it, Heatwave started wondering why exactly it was impossible for him and Blades to be together.  Yes, they were part of a team and interpersonal relationships could get messy, but slag it, weren’t things already messy and complicated between them?  Why not try?  These feelings were eating him alive and they were going to have to come out eventually, for better or for worse.  But how to make his feelings known to Blades in a way that would make him most receptive to initiating a change in their relationship?  Heatwave had little experience with this sort of thing, and there wasn’t anyone he was comfortable going to for advice.  Boulder and Chase probably wouldn’t be any help, and he certainly couldn’t go to any of the humans!  No, he would have to figure this one out himself.

~*~

“Hey, guys, where’s Blades?” Dani asked as she entered the bunker.  Heatwave was practicing maneuvers in the corner, Boulder was reading a book about gardening, and Chase and Cody were watching television.

“I have not seen him in several hours,” replied Chase.

“Dunno,” said Boulder.

“Probably slacking off somewhere, as usual,” snapped Heatwave.  Dani frowned.  She’d thought that there had been an understanding between them after their “conversation” a few weeks ago, but if anything, whatever underlying problem there was had only shifted, not disappeared.

“What does that mean?” she asked, hands on her hips.

“Blades has been absent from the base fairly often in the past two weeks,” supplied Chase helpfully.  “When I asked him what he was doing he said that he ‘just needed some space.’  It does get a little crowded in here.”

“He’s goofing off somewhere when he should be here with us.  What if there was an emergency and he couldn’t respond in time and someone got hurt?  We’re a _team_ ,” Heatwave punctuated the word with a particularly hard blow to the punching bag he was beating into submission, “we’re supposed to work _together_.”

“Maybe if every member of the team felt _valued_ for their contributions and got some respect from their team leader, it would be easier for everyone to do that,” Dani said pointedly, glaring at Heatwave.

“Well _maybe_ if everyone pulled their weight and didn’t backtalk their superior under their breath when he’s giving directions and didn’t go sulking off in the woods instead of voicing his complaints like someone with a _spinal strut_ —“

“Ugh, you’re worse than Kade!” Dani exclaimed, throwing her hands up and storming back out of the room.

Before she was able to leave, the emergency siren started blaring, and the Chief appeared over the intercom.

“Rescue Bots!  We have an emergency.  There’s a fire in a multi-story apartment building downtown, we’re gonna need all hands on deck for this one!”

“Yes, sir!” said Dani, opening up her com link to Blades.  “Blades!  We’ve got an emergency downtown, building fire.  I’ll ride with Chase, so meet me there, and hurry!”  The rest of her family was already hurrying into the bunker and getting into their respective partners.  She joined her father and Chase as they raced to meet the crisis, missing the gentle hum of Blades rotors and security she felt at being able to observe everything happening down on the ground.

~*~

When Blades received Dani’s message, he was in the woods as Heatwave had surmised.  But sulking?  Less so.

“Uhhn,” Blades huffed, fingers dragging along sensitive mesh as he withdrew them from his valve.  What an embarrassing situation!  He was relieved the com link hadn’t been two-way when Dani had left her message.  Hastily, he wiped the sticky valve lubricant off his hand and onto the grass, forcing his panel to snap closed.  His valve ached, but it looked like he wasn’t going to be able to bring himself to overload this time.  That certainly wasn’t going to improve his mood.

He transformed quickly and took to the air, pushing himself to go faster.  His team needed him!  But he couldn’t help the dark, nagging feeling that they didn’t.  He was just air support.  He’d get there, and he’d hover, and everyone else would deal with the emergency, and then they’d go back to base and Heatwave would give him that look—the one that made shame boil in his tanks, but that lately had been making him furious and, inexplicably, aroused.  It was hot, and intense, and it made him feel like he was suffocating. 

At first, he’d withered under that gaze.  It had frightened and confused him, but now it made him frustrated and angry.  He was doing his best!  He worked just as hard as everyone else!  Why was Heatwave so critical of him?  Why did he order him around like a marionette, but then refuse to talk to him outside of missions?  It was confusing, and upsetting, and even more confusing was his frame’s reaction recently!  Maybe it was the emotional frustration, but lately he’d been feeling sexually frustrated as well, and self-servicing had become his only means of relief.  Of course, it wasn’t something he could do back at the base.  There were too many people all the time, and he wasn’t quiet enough to do it at night when the others were recharging.  What if one of them woke up and caught him?  He’d probably expire of embarrassment.

And so he’d been sneaking off to the woods to let off some steam.  It had only been a matter of time before something came up while he was away.  He just hoped that everything would turn out alright.

~*~

The fire was bad.  It had spread quickly and engulfed the building.  The structural integrity had been compromised, and it trembled as if it were going to collapse at any moment.  Most of the residents had been safely evacuated, but a few had been trapped in the upper stories by debris.  Heatwave had tried to extinguish the blaze, but even his water jets weren’t enough to quench it fully.  His ladder wasn’t tall enough to reach those trapped on the upper stories.

“If Blades were here, we could just get them from the roof,” Dani said, fretting.  She opened up the com link with her partner again.  “Blades, where are you?”

“I’m on my way!” Blades said over the link.  “Just another few minutes!”

“That’s too long,” Kade exclaimed.  “This building is going to come down any second!”

“What do we do?” Heatwave asked.  “My ladder can’t reach far enough.”

“No, but it can get me high enough to reach those people so I can lead them down myself.”

“This is an unsafe course of action,” Chase said gravely.

“It’s my job!  Heatwave, come on!”  Heatwave acquiesced.  Those people would die if they didn’t do something now.  They couldn’t afford to wait for Blades, and Kade, while somewhat insufferably self-assured, _was_ a trained professional.  He watched as his partner entered one of the windows of the burning building, and waited, feeling like a helpless protoform.

A few moments passed, and suddenly a person stuck their torso out of the window of a lower story.  Heatwave immediately extended his ladder to allow them to clamber out of the failing structure to safety.  Several more people followed, singed, but otherwise unharmed.  Finally, Kade emerged too, climbing onto the ladder just as the building began to shudder and convulse.  Quickly, everyone cleared the structure as it came down, Chase and Boulder working to contain the radius of debris with makeshift barricades while Heatwave drove the survivors to safety.

“I’m here!” Blades cried, descending from the sky, shocked to see the charred building crumpling to the ground.  He steered clear of the smoke cloud that choked the sky, and drifted over to Heatwave, transforming in midair and dropping to his pedes on the hot pavement.

The survivors climbed off of Heatwave to await the paramedics, who began to check them for injuries.  Kade was slower to disembark than the others.

“Kade?  Are you alright?” Heatwave asked, a rare note of concern in his voice.

“Ugh, well, I’ve been better,” he groaned.  He dropped to the ground, examining his hands.  The fire-retardant gloves had been charred through and his palms were a mess of blackened fibers and burnt skin.

“You’re hurt!” Heatwave exclaimed, changing into robot mode.  He ushered Kade towards the paramedics.

“This human is injured and requires assistance,” he said in his best robot voice.  Kade groaned, whether in pain or embarrassment was unclear.

Once Kade and the civilians had safely departed, Heatwave whirled on Blades like a storm.

“What were you thinking?” he hissed.  “This is what I was worried was going to happen!  There was an emergency, and you weren’t there when we needed you because you were slagging off in the woods somewhere!  If you’d been here, Kade wouldn’t have gotten hurt.  And if it hadn’t been for his bravery and quick-thinking?  Those people would have died!”

Blades seemed to crumple under Heatwave’s wrath, his optics wet with cleaning fluid.

“How could you be so irresponsible?  You’re a part of this team, so take responsibility like the rest of us!”  Suddenly, Blades seemed to swell.  He raised his optics to meet Heatwave’s.

“Well maybe I wouldn’t be spending so much time alone if I felt like I was a valued and appreciated member of this team!”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You’re always criticizing me, singling me out, giving me longer, harder missions, making me go off on my own!  Or worse, when you have us go on missions together, you never say anything, you just… give me these looks, like I’m a disappointment, like you wish I wasn’t there, like you’re picking me apart and not finding anything there worth your time!”

“Well maybe I’m criticizing you because you act like this!  Like it’s all about you!  If we don’t all pull our weight, then this team falls apart!”

“I am pulling my weight!  I work just as hard as anyone on this team!”

“Then why weren’t you here today?  Why did Kade get hurt?”  Blades wilted again.

“It was an accident.  I did my best.”

“Well you need to do better.  We all need to do better.  If we under-perform, if we’re compromised, people could die.  We can’t afford mistakes.”

“I don’t know why I bother sometimes,” Blades whispered, his vocalize crackling.  He transformed into vehicle mode and flew off, leaving Heatwave seething below.

“Blades?  Blades!” Dani called into the com link, but there was no response as the helicopter disappeared into the smoggy sky.

“Coward,” Heatwave spat, grinding his heel angrily into the pavement.  He was so, _so_ angry.  Irrationally, unreasonably so.  He’d been right, and now his partner was hurt, and this entire situation could have been avoided if Blades had just taken his job seriously.  He was so furious with the flier that for the moment, even his insistent, inappropriate thoughts had dispersed like smoke into the air.

“Heatwave,” the Chief said, his tone betraying no emotion.  “I’m going to the hospital to check on Kade.  Go take a drive, cool off.  We’re going to have a talk later this evening.”

Heatwave nodded stiffly.  A heavy, toxic slurry of anger, shame, and impotence churned in his tanks.  Whatever the Chief had to say to him, he knew for sure that it wasn’t something that he wanted to hear.

~*~

That evening, as promised, the chief met him outside of the base.  He’d spent most of the day patrolling around the island, stewing in his thoughts and feelings and drawing no satisfying explanations or excuses for the day’s fiasco’s, or his crumbling relationship with Blades.  He hadn’t seen the helicopter since he flew off earlier, and he was sure that the others were actively working to keep them apart for the time being.

“Heatwave, let’s go for a drive,” Chief Burns said, emerging from the building.  Resigned, Heatwave complied.  He was still getting used to having passengers even after all these months.

“Where to?”

“The north side of the island.  Take the forest roads.”

Eager to get the impending discomfort over with, Heatwave took off towards the more sparsely inhabited section of the island.  Darkness was settling over the land, and the forested mountains loomed before them as Heatwave trundled away from the glittering lights of the city.  Never before had the sight struck him as so completely alien.  The darkness had a way of transforming even familiar places into strange landscapes and Heatwave was hit with a sudden, hard reminder that this place was not his home.  He was a stranger in world that was not yet ready to accept that it was a part of something much larger and colder than itself.

The blackness and strange, looming shapes of the winding mountain road reminded him oddly of space.  Cold, dark, empty.  They had drifted in stasis for vorns while their world tore itself to pieces, while the decepticons triumphed and autobots were slaughtered.  Optimus had said they were the last rescue bots.  It was clear he wanted them to stay here because it was safer, and he wanted them to survive this if they could.  Frag that!  Heatwave picked up speed, engine hot.

He wanted to fight!  He wanted to be a part of this war, to beat back the decepticons, to salvage what was left of their kind, of their culture, and someday to rebuild!  He felt trapped and powerless here, surrounded by these humans and their often petty and inconsequential struggles.  He had grown to care for them, despite himself, and he took his job here as seriously as any back on Cybertron.  Humans and cybertronians were not so different.  They felt many of the same emotions, and had many of the same desires.  There were good humans and bad humans, just as there were good and bad mechanicals.  All sentient life had enough in common that it was possible to form alliances, even friendships.  He valued his human teammates, even if he had scorned them at first.  Even though Kade was pompous and self-important, and often took the credit for Heatwave’s work, Heatwave still cared about him.  He felt responsible that Kade had been injured today, and angry that he had been unable to help.

“What are you thinking about?” the chief asked.  He hadn’t spoken a word in the last twenty minutes they’d been driving.

“Everything,” snapped Heatwave.  “What we’re doing here, how angry I am that today’s rescue was such a disaster, how frustrating Blades has been lately…”  He paused.  “How is Kade?”

“He’ll be fine, after a little rest and a short break from rescue duty.  He said he had to clear the debris that was blocking the interior fire escape and his hands were burned in the process—painful but not deep enough to cause lasting damage.  A few more minor burns on his face and legs.  They might scar, but he’ll pull through just fine.”

“I’m…relieved,” Heatwave admitted.

“So, what exactly is going on between you and Blades?  That you two haven’t been getting along for weeks hasn’t gone unnoticed.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Heatwave.  We’re a team.  All of us.  And teams need to understand each other, to work together.  Communication is vital to establishing healthy relationships, and I have a feeling you and Blades haven’t been communicating too well lately.”  Heatwave’s engine revved angrily.

“I’ve been loud and clear about what I want and expect from him.  He’s the one who doesn’t say what he’s thinking and has Dani complain to me for him.”

“Are you sure this isn’t at least partially on you?” Chief Burns asked pointedly.  “Blades is a good bot.  He’s compassionate, curious, and courageous.  He might be soft-spoken and have difficulty with criticism, but he isn’t a bad team member, and his behavior in the last month has been…worrying.  Dani tells me he doesn’t talk as much as he used to, that he wants to be alone often, that he isn’t as enthusiastic about things he used to enjoy, and that he gets nervous when doing things he used to have no problem with. Those kinds of behaviors in a human could be symptoms of depression or heightened stress levels.  And I have a feeling you know what’s causing this.”

“I… I don’t know,” Heatwave relented at last.  He hadn’t wanted to consider it, but he was beginning to realize that maybe, somehow, his conflicting feelings for Blades had been more obvious than he thought, and maybe Blades’ changed behavior was a result of his own.  A surge of shame coursed through him.

“Do you have any ideas?”

“Well, lately I’ve…” he paused for a moment, struggling to find the right words.  “A couple months back I realized that I’d developed…distracting feelings.  For Blades.”

“Feelings?  As in romantic feelings?” the Chief asked, a hint of incredulity in his tone.  If Heatwave had been in robot mode, he would have gritted his denta.

“Of a sort.”

“I see.  I can’t say that was the answer I was expecting.”

“I’m not asking for your judgement, Chief,” Heatwave snapped.

“I’m not judging you, Heatwave,” assured the Chief.  “I was just…surprised.  I didn’t realize that your kind also experienced romance and attraction the way that humans do.  It seems we have more in common than I realized.”

“I suppose we do.”

“So if that’s what you’ve been feeling, why has this been happening?”

“Because I can’t have those kinds of feelings for Blades.  It’s inappropriate.  I’m his commanding officer, and we’re part of a unit whose continued harmony is integral to our function.  I can’t favor one team member above the others.”

“It seems more like he’s fallen out of your favor disproportionately from the others.”

“Because he needs to learn leadership skills!” exclaimed Heatwave, frustrated by his inability to articulate his own thoughts.  “He needs to straighten his spinal strut and do what needs to be done, no matter what his personal feelings on the matter are.  He needs to do his duty, and place that above all else!  I tried giving him more missions so that he could get a better handle on doing things on his own.  We’re here to help each other but we can’t always come to his rescue if he gets himself into a mess!  But it’s like every time I try to push him forward, he just drags himself down even more.”

Chief Burns was quiet for a few moments, mulling over what Heatwave had said.

“Have you asked him how he feels?”

“What?”

“Communication is critical to any healthy relationship—romantic, platonic, or professional.  This isn’t the military, Heatwave.  We are a civil task force designed to meet and contain natural disasters and provide assistance to distressed civilians.  We’re also a family.  My kids and I, but also you and your team mates.  Families love each other, but they can also fight and hurt each other.  The only way to resolve a conflict is to communicate.  You have to be willing to tell Blades how you’re feeling and what you expect from him.  And you have to be willing to listen to him when he tells you the same.”

“…I’ve been selfish, haven’t I?” Heatwave said quietly, filled with a sudden surge of guilt.

“You’ve been distracted.  It happens.  You’re been trying to deal with a problem you don’t have experience with, and you’ve been trying to do it without asking for help or confronting it directly.  We all do that from time to time.  What’s important is recognizing when your behavior is hurting yourself and others, and working to fix it.”

“I called him a coward.  I took my anger out on him.  I blamed him for something that was out of his control, because I feel like _I_ have no control.  How can I possibly fix this now?”

“Start by apologizing.  It’s obvious that he’s been picking up on your frustration.  He thinks you’re angry at him and he doesn’t know why.”

“I’m wasn’t—I’m not angry with him.  Well, I wasn’t before today…but if it’s my fault that he’s been acting more difficult than usual for the past few weeks, then I don’t have any right to be.”

“Have you asked him why he’s been leaving the base so often?”

“Yes.  He won’t tell me.”

“Then maybe after you apologize, you should start with telling him how _you_ feel, what you’ve been thinking, both about your feelings that he’s ready for more responsibility, and how your personal feelings for him have been changing.  None of us can read minds.  We can’t know what’s bothering someone unless they tell us.  If Blades won’t tell you what he’s thinking, then you should tell him what you’ve been thinking for the past few weeks.  Put yourself out first, and maybe he’ll do the same.”

“I...alright.”  The chief smiled.

“And then, try being a little nicer to him.  I know you’re a very straightforward guy, but Blades doesn’t have a lot of self-confidence.  Try complimenting him, or giving him gifts.  Things that will get across how you feel in a way that makes him feel good about himself.  Criticizing his shortcomings without praising his successes is just going to make him feel unappreciated and stressed.  It’s making him feel like he can’t do anything right, no matter how hard he tries.”

Heatwave was silent for a moment, thinking.

“You really think that’s how he sees it?  But he always gets so self-important when anyone gives him an inch of praise.”

“Did you ever consider that maybe he acts that way when he feels like he has something to contribute because he feels like he isn’t up to your standard the rest of the time?”  Heatwave was shocked.

“I…I suppose I haven’t.  He _does_ contribute.  He’s a valuable member of the team.  He has good ideas, and he’s always reliable when push comes to shove, even when he’s scared or doesn’t want to do something.  But you can’t expect praise just for doing what’s necessary and expected of you.  You should only get praise when you go above and beyond, when you exceed every reasonable expectation.  And it’s important that he’s aware of his shortcomings.  How can he hope to overcome them if he’s not?”

“Have you told all of that to Blades?”

“Shouldn’t he know already?” Heatwave asked, suddenly unsure.

“I’m not sure he does.  I think it’s important that you tell him.  It might be the heart of this problem that’s developed.  Blades sees the world differently from you—and that’s a good thing!  We all have different strengths, and different weaknesses too.  What you might see as given, he might need explained to him.”

Heatwave was silent for a while, thinking.

“I _have_ been acting like an aft.  I didn’t even consider that he might be misinterpreting my behavior, or that his uncertainty about what I want and expect from him was causing his bad moods.”

“So you’ll talk to him?” The chief pressed.

“I’ll talk to him.”

“Very good,” the chief said, smiling.  “Now let’s head back.  It’s getting late and it’s been a long day.”

“Agreed,” Heatwave replied, turning to head back in the direction of town.

~*~

It was late by the time they returned to the firehouse.  Chief Burns said goodnight to heatwave before retiring to bed, and Heatwave found Chase and Boulder already in recharge when he checked the bunker.  No sign of Blades.

“Roof,” muttered Heatwave to himself, steeling him for the upcoming confrontation.  Quietly, he crept back outside and squinted up at the roof, unable to see very far past the edge.

“Blades?” he called out, hesitant.

No response.

“Blades?”

“Go away,” Blades finally shot back, still out of sight.

“Blades I—I need to talk to you.”

“I don’t want to hear it.”  Heatwave clenched his servos, stifling his anger before it had a chance to ignite.  Blades had every right to be angry with him.  He was the one in the wrong here.

“I’m sorry, Blades.  What I said earlier was…unfair and uncalled for.  I was angry, but that didn’t give me the right to accuse you of not caring, or not working as hard as the rest of us.  I want to apologize to you, for today and for… the way I’ve been acting for the last month.  Will you come down?”

There was a long pause, then the sound of rotors spinning as Blades flew up off the top of the building and landed gently on the pavement by Heatwave.

“You’re apologizing?” Blades asked, changing back to robot mode, his face guarded and uncertain.  Heatwave felt another stab of shame at his teammate’s hurt expression.  This isn’t what he’d wanted.  He’d made a mess of everything.

“Yes.  Chief Burns and I had a talk and he… illuminated some points of contention for me.  I realized that my behavior these last few weeks must have been confusing and upsetting to you.  I didn’t see that I was hurting you because I was so caught up in my own concerns.”

“Oh, uh, okay?” Blades said, no less confused now than before.  Heatwave sighed.

“Let’s walk a little ways from the building.  For some privacy.”

For some reason, Blades flushed a bit at this.  Heatwave had certainly not expected that reaction.  It made him start wondering things that he really shouldn’t be wondering about at this moment in time.

They waded into the woods a bit, just far enough to be out of earshot of the firehouse and out of sight of the roads.  Heatwave sat down on a boulder while Blades continued to stand, waiting.

“Alright, so,” Heatwave fumbled, trying to figure out where to start.  “First of all, I’m not angry with you.  I’m not disappointed in you, and I think that you are a valuable, critical part of our team and an exemplary rescue bot.  I haven’t been trying to single you out, or punish you for any reason.  I was giving you more solo missions because I thought you’ve improved a lot since we arrived here.  You’ve faced tough challenges, come up with creative solutions, and pushed the limits of what you’re comfortable with.  I thought that sending you out alone a bit more would help you get used to being more independent, and also to get you more comfortable asking for help and realizing where your limits are.  I realize now that I probably should have consulted you before I made decisions like that.”

Blades remained silent, his arms folded across his chassis as Heatwave continued.

“I’ve been doing a poor job at communicating my thoughts and expectations, and that’s on me.  I’ve also been… distracted, and unsettled by other reasons, which have nothing to do with your performance or behavior, and I thought I was keeping them in check but I guess I was doing a worse job than I thought, and I’m sorry that it’s negatively affected our working and personal relationships.  I want to do everything in my power to fix this, to make things right, and to make our team stronger.  We have an important mission, but it’s also important that we understand each other and trust each other.  Do you… can you forgive me?”

Blades uncrossed his arms, his jaw trembling slightly.

“Blades?”

“All this time I thought you hated me.  I didn’t know what I was doing wrong.  I felt like I couldn’t do anything right,” Blades said, a quaver in his vocalizer.

“Blades… I’m so sorry.  I never meant to make you feel that way.  I don’t hate you.  I… I care for you a lot.”

Blades covered his face with his servos and started to cry.  Heatwave was stunned.  Panic filled his spark.  This couldn’t be good.  He got to his feet, approaching Blades cautiously.

“Blades?  Blades what’s the matter?”  His servos reached out to the flier’s trembling shoulder plates, wanting to touch but afraid to.  That instinct to protect was surging up inside him.  He hated seeing his family hurt, but didn’t know what to do when he was the one causing that pain.

“I thought—I thought—I couldn’t do anything right, that I was disappointing you, that I was—” his vocalizer hiccuped with static, “—useless, unnecessary.  That’s why I was leaving the base so much.  I didn’t want to see that look on your face anymore, the one that told me I wasn’t worth it.”

Breaking through his fear, Heatwave gently placed his servos against the hot, trembling metal of Blades’ frame, rubbing his shoulders comfortingly.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright.  You’re not worthless, you’ve never been worthless.  I’m so sorry I made you feel that way, and that you felt like you couldn’t talk to me.  I’m supposed to be your leader, you’re supposed to be able to trust me and rely on me.  You have to tell me if I’m not doing my job right…” Heatwave said, feeling a prickle of cleaning fluid in the corner of his own optics.  He was ashamed to admit it, but if someone he cared about started crying, he’d start crying too if he wasn’t careful.

Blades slumped against him, still crying, and Heatwave carefully moved his arms to draw the helicopter into a hug.  The situation wasn’t one that he had ever desired, but he couldn’t deny that his spark surged at feeling Blades pulled tight against him.  He held Blades for a while, until he’d cried himself out, and finally drew back, faceplate stained with cleaning fluids.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.  Heatwave shook his head.

“Don’t be.  I want you to be able to confide in me when something’s bothering you.  We can’t keep secrets from each other.”  The guilt gnawed at him again as the words left his mouth.  There was still a secret he was keeping, but Heatwave felt that now was not the time to Blades about his attraction.  This conversation was about Blades and his well-being, not Heatwave’s desires.  He would tell him soon, but not tonight.

“Are… you going to be okay?” Heatwave asked.  Blades sniffled, nodding.

“Yeah… I think so.  I just… I just need to recharge, I think.  I’ll feel better in the morning.”  He smiled, optics still shimmering wet.  “Thank you for saying all that.  It means a lot… to know I’m not a disappointment, and that you care.”

Heatwave flushed, undone by how sweet and sincere Blades’ expression was.  He wanted to kiss the tears from his cheeks and see what pleasure would look like written across Blades’ face.  Would he be noisy during interface?  He was so expressive, surely that would carry over into intimacy.  Heatwave imagined the kind of face Blades would make when he overloaded, mouth open in a loud moan, pinpricks of cleaning fluid in his optics from how overwhelming the feeling was—his flushed deepened with embarrassment.

“Y-yeah,” Heatwave replied, stupidly.  “I’m glad we could. Uh, clear things up.  Recharge is… probably a good idea.”

Blades nodded, wiping the wet streaks from his cheekplates with the back of his hand.  “I’ll see you in the morning,” he said, before heading back towards the firehouse. 

Heatwave stood rooted in place, watching the gentle sway of Blades’ hips as he disappeared into the trees.  _Well, frag me,_ he thought _, I think I love him._

~*~

**Author's Note:**

> Coming soon: With the angst out of the way, sexual tension skyrockets as Blades begins to realize he has feelings for Heatwave.


End file.
